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Showing posts from September, 2017

A New Deck..

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My newest deck was added to my collection today. Want to see which one it is? You'll have to watch to find out!


Do you have this deck too? I'd love to know your thoughts on it, any suggestions you have for working with it, etc. Thanks for watching! 
-Bright blessings, Jess. 

On Becoming Strong

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One of the highest compliments that I think I was ever paid was by my grandmother, 9 years ago, when I left my abusive ex-husband and began divorce proceedings. My parents had had to literally come and rescue me, as I was in another country, had no money of my own, no car, and no way to help myself out. I was being emotionally and psychologically abused, and it was starting to progress towards physical abuse as well, and I was terrified of my husband. I was terrified to go, but the only thing that scared me more than that was staying with him. And so, while he was a few hours away on a business trip, I packed my most important belongings and loaded them into my dad's Nissan Altima. We stayed in a hotel that night, and the next day I was back in my own country, living with my parents again and sleeping on the futon bed in the spare room. I talked to my grandmother the day after I arrived, and she said to me:
"Jessica, you're strong. You're like a cat, you always seem t…

I Am

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I am an unlovable, terrible person.
That's what I tell myself when I cry.
It's why I need to be alone when tears start to flow,
it's why I break down into heart-wrenching sobs that seem
to
go
on
for
.......forever.

I know I am only human,
and that my vulnerability
only makes me more beautiful
But when I feel vulnerable,
I can't stop the impulse to
(hide.)

There are times I want to be a wallflower
to fade into the background,
and have you walk right by.
The pain of you seeing straight through me
is easier to bear
than the pain of being really seen.

If you see every flaw,
external and internal,
then surely,
you
will
RUN!!!!!

That's why I fight ope n  i   n    g       u         p
to
You.
You're too important to
lose.
I would burrow inside of you
if that wasn't
going to make me into a
parasite.

So please,
I know I'm hard to love,
but can you try to, anyways?


This poetry is copyright to Jess Johnson, and may not be used or reproduced without the author's…